Category: Routine

The Power of Positivity

I’m not going to lie… it is not easy to ALWAYS be positive.  Things happen, life happens, and it isn’t always pleasant.  This conversation is not about ALWAYS be positive, it is instead about intending to always be positive and absorbing others positivity when you lack in that area.

“Be thankful for what you have; you’ll end up having more. If you concentrate on what you don’t have, you will never, ever have enough.”
― Oprah Winfrey

Could not have said it better myself!  There is an old saying that I sure we all know, “Stop and Smell the Roses.”  I truly believe these tow quotes go hand in hand.  Do I have a million dollars?  Nope.  Am I able to earn a living and able to work hard to pay my bills? Yes.  And I am grateful.

Gratitude and positivity are the cousins of happiness.  If I am happy and maintaining a positive outlook on life, then I am able to manifest the good in life.  If I am negative and focused on the bad things that are happening or have happened, then I am missing out on what is right in front of me.  I am looking on the rear-view mirror and not through the windshield of life.

There are folks out there whose first instinct is sarcasm or possibly to comment on the negative.  These people, if given the opportunity can affect how we think and feel about situations and activities.  When we were kids and we were so excited about maybe a boy we liked, or a grade we got, or an upcoming activity; if there was a “cool kid” that thought differently, did we let their opinion sway ours?  Did you wear a beautiful new dress to school one day and maybe a girl commented on the fit not being just right and you suddenly felt less beautiful.  Imagine if those same comments were reversed and you were encouraged by those you admired.  Would that change your feelings?  Of Course.  It would hype you up and you would feel even better than you already did.  THIS is the power of positivity and transversely the power of negative thinking.

Now, think of your current life and current situations.  Are you that mean girl always commenting on the negative or possibly thinking you are politely playing devil’s advocate or are you the one hyping up your friends and even strangers, encouraging them to be the best they can.  Are you the one saying, “do better” or are you saying, “I know you can do, keep going”.  Those statement can have the same intent but be felt so differently on the receiving end.

Just one small positive thought in the morning can change your whole day.

Dalai Lama

So, the question is, how do you radiate positivity without feeling like you are walking on eggshells with what you say and do.  Easy!  Confidence, good self-esteem, self-care and compassion.  It’s the recipe for happiness in any and all situations.

Bad things happen, there is no doubt in that.  How we react to them is what matters.  Not the bad thing itself.

“It will never rain roses: when we want to have more roses, we must plant more roses.”
― George Eliot

It will in fact always rain sometime….  It is what we do with that rain.  Here are my thoughts on what to do with the negative:

  1. Share your story, but don’t focus on the bad, focus on your climb upward from that moment.  That is where the positive is.
  2. Seak out “Moments” and embrace them. If it is raining, then be glad you don’t have to water the lawn.  You are saving money and the work to do so. If you are running late to work, let’s be honest… you are already late.  Take a breath and do a little self-talk to be grateful for your job and the ability to do it, then charge on.
  3. Plant the roses: Share a compliment, hold a door, smile at a stranger, say please and thank you for any service rendered to you.  These tiny little actions can plant a rose in someone else’s garden.  This allows you to have more roses everywhere you go, not just keep them to yourself.

Positivity breeds positivity and we don’t share it, it won’t grow.

“Keep your thoughts positive because your thought become YOUR WORDS.
Keep your words positive because your words become YOUR BEHAVIOR
Keep your behavior positive because your behavior becomes YOUR HABITS
Keep your habits positive because your habits become YOUR VALUES
Keep your values positive because your values become YOUR DESTINY”

― Mahatma Gandhi

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A pet to raise your child

If you have a kid, you need a pet.  Now I know that is a statement that seems direct.  Who am I to tell you to get a pet?  Well, let me share with you why I feel so strongly about this.  As a child, we had a cat.  I am not a cat person as an adult, but I do recall fond memories of our cat as a child.  We also had a dog in my teenage years.  On both occasions, the animals were cared for by my parents, but there were times that pet care was a chore assigned to my sister and I.  As an adult, I see why these chores were assigned from time to time, but never my permanent chore. (and I also see why it was not my full time responsibility)

Reason 1: Caring for others

Teaching kids to care for others is a process.  They need to see it, do it and learn what happens when you don’t do it.  That means they need to walk dogs, feed cats and play with them.  As we all know, the consequences of not doing these are accidents on the floor, crying from the pet or even chewing up things we don’t want chewed in an effort to seek attention.  Sounds a lot like a kid right?  The point is; their little minds don’t see us as mommies and daddies doing this for our children.  From the moment they are born, we are wiping butts, feeding crying babies and entertaining them as they grow into little people.  Having a pet takes each of these actions and applies them to an unbiased party.

Reason 2: Sharing

Kids, especially first born or only children need to learn to share.  Even prior to daycare or VPK, there is an opportunity to teach this by moms and dads giving affection to pets.  Doesn’t sound like a big deal, but when first done, you may find your little one crawling into our lap or doing something to turn your attention back to them.  This is natural but dividing your attention between a pet and a child shows them without causing any harm, that you can have affections toward others in addition to loving them.  Please do not misunderstand, I am by no means suggesting you neglect a child or care for a pet instead of a child.  This is simply an example of a lesson a child can learn almost subliminally.

Reason 3: Comfort

Kids need to be able to count on and confide in a buddy.  Aside from their parents or maybe a sibling, a pet is the next immediate resource for small kids.  In many cases, animals adopt a protective bond over small children, often providing comfort and a calmness to little ones.  As a child grows, so will this bond. If you have ever had a childhood pet, I’m sure there was a time or two that you confided in your four-legged best friend.  Shared your deepest secrets or feelings.  By doing that it taught you the meaning of friendship and loyalty. Pets are nothing if not loyal.

Reason 4: Death

As much as I hate to say it, the death of a pet as a result of an illness or old age is often one of the first times children will experience death.  This helps them to learn about the natural expiration date we all have.  It also helps them to learn to value memories.  By experiencing the loss of a family pet it gives you an opportunity to teach your children about the circle of life (in whichever religion you believe).  It gives you an opportunity to show them how to mourn but also how to celebrate the memories.

I am not a parenting expert, nor do I claim to be an expert in anything, but I have lived a solid, experience-filled life and feel as though our experiences (good and bad) can be passed on in a positive light to the next generation.  As your family decides on a pet in the future or maybe you already have a pet, but are now adding a child to the mix, I hope this little blog on the topic of family pets is helpful.

As always – Have a Happy day ~Mrs Go to girl

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The days following a celebration

Here we are and it is three days past Christmas.  We have spent at least a month gearing up for the holiday celebration.  Buying and wrapping gifts, planning get togethers and meals with friends and loved ones and then the big day is here!  The same happens for a wedding (only slightly delayed taking into consideration the honeymoon).  The days after everything “gets back to normal” can be draining.

As I sit here today, back at work and engaging with co-workers and clients alike, I find myself in a whirlwind of emotion.  The day or two returning from a celebration are filled with recanted conversations of how the holiday or celebration was spent, who attended, what gifts were exchanged, etc.  But then there is day three.    Day three brings back the “normal” and I can’t help but find myself a bit out of sorts.  Almost physically tired from the excitement of the previous days and even month, here I sit in a bit of a fog.

I think day three is the adjustment period.  The time when the excited conversations stop, the day to day work and chores filter into a steady pace and the emotion I find myself feeling is “blah”.  Don’t get me wrong, I am very happy and had a great holiday season, but I am noticing the office is quieter now than the previous days and week.  The moods are a bit more chill but yet still focused.  Though this is not at all a bad day it does beg the question “where did the joy go?”  Where is the merriment?

In life we have good days and bad days, but to make a good or bad day there is usually an event or thing that causes the good and the bad.  I have always said we should appreciate the bad days for without them there would be no good ones. But here we are in a day like today… no good or bad to be had.  Just a day.

In writing this, I think I have decided these “blah” days of no agenda and nothing exciting to do but the normal occurring should also be considered “good days”.  These are the days we allow ourselves to catch our breath from the roller coaster ride of life.  These moments we find ourselves in that may sometimes feel awkward simply because nothing is making the day good or bad, are the worlds way of saying, be still.  There is a twist coming, you should rest and prepare. Prepare for a high or a low, prepare for joy or sadness, but in this moment, be still. Your roller coaster ride of life is gearing up for another adventure.

And with that, I am still.

Have a Happy Day ~ Mrs. Go To Girl

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Resolutions… Let’s lighten them up

We all have the best intentions when we make resolutions. Go to the gym more, eat better, get to sleep earlier, wake up earlier, make more time for family, save more money, even invest in the future. Almost every year they are the same. This year I want to put a little spin on our New Year’s resolution list and add some humor. Below is a list of some pretty hysterical (and maybe a little honest) resolutions to tickle your funny bone and start your New Year off with a smile!

  1. This year I will complete my New Year Resolution list I made in 2009!
  2. Not to go to the gym on a day that ends in Y
  3. I will do less laundry and use more deodorant
  4. I will remember my password because it makes the IT department angry every time I ask them to reset it.
  5. I will no longer consider an apple martini part of my daily fruit intake
  6. This year I will actually maybe kind of sort of eat better.

Enjoy!

By the way… when in doubt, January is a practice month and you can always start again in February! Wishing everyone a safe and very fun 2019! Always remember to laugh at yourself first! Life is short, don’t take it to seriously, no one gets out alive!

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Schedule “Me Time”

It happens to the best of us, life gets busy and as our schedules and “to do” lists get longer and busier, the time we take for ourselves tends to disappear.  We feel like if we take time for ourselves we are neglecting our family, acting selfishly, or neglecting our responsibilities.  This could not be further from the truth. Life is noisy.  Life is busy.  Life takes up so much of our energy.  It’s understandable that every individual has different work situations that are unique to their field, but it important to remember that you don’t live to work. Sometimes, putting aside time for yourself may even prove to be the ideal catalyst to liberating yourself from all the struggles that are suffocating you.  

Let’s take a look at what happens when we don’t take time for ourselves and some suggestions on how to avoid or change this situation:

  1. Mental and Physical Exhaustion: people may experience mental fatigue, insomnia, confusion, poor concentration, depression, anxiety, and increased irritability when they do not take time to take care of themselves. Just like we need sleep, we need time out. 
  2. Resentments and anger build up: 
    The lack of time to yourself can cause you to build up resentments that can harm both you and your relationships. When you spend all your time filling other people’s cups, it’s likely yours will run empty. Sometimes, especially when we’re tired, we may become angry about giving so much. 
  3. Poor self-esteem develops:   
    Self-care and self-love are very much connected.  If we truly love and care about ourselves, we would make the time to care for both our physical health and mental health.  Sometimes a reluctance to make time for self-care can go deeper, to issues of self-worth and self-love.

Here is a quick list of ways to improve your “me time” and take better care of yourself on a daily basis:

  1. Schedule it! – Make a meeting with yourself daily or weekly depending on the content of the meeting.  Do you need a daily reprieve, or do you want to schedule an hour or two for a mani/pedi, exercise, or just to sit by the pool and read?  
  2. Make it count! – Don’t just “schedule” ten minutes a day or quiet time, make it quality time.  Just as you would give your newborn child your undivided attention, you deserve your attention too!
  3. Delegate tasks! – don’t let life get in the way.  Don’t get bogged down with a long list of “to do’s”  
  4. Check your e-mail and social media feeds at delegated times – Are you attached at the hip to your smart phone?  Put it down and schedule times that you will pick it up and review the latest updates.  
  5. Take 5! – Whenever you start to get overwhelmed or feel anxious, take 5 minutes to step outside and take a deep breath.  Walk around your office or work space.  there is no harm in taking 5 minutes to regroup.
  6. Say no with dignity an grace – You do not have to accept every invitation to get together or take on every task given to you.  Do not take on more than you can handle, and really take a long hard look at what you can realistically handle.  Unless you are wearing a cape and tights, I’m pretty sure you are not a super hero.  
  7. Shower time is “your time” – This is one of the few times in your day that you can guarantee peace and quiet.  Take advantage of it.  
    Purchase some aroma therapy products that you love and treat each shower like it is a spa getaway. Take some deep breaths and let the warm water wash away any tension that you were having.
  8. Take the long way home – no matter how you get o and from work or your daily activity, take the scenic route and enjoy a little peace and quiet before switching gears to family and kids and responsibilities.  

Keep in mind that carving out time for yourself is vital for keeping yourself healthy, and that means a happier family and more productive work and school life.

This blog posts was written in honor of my sister.  She takes on the world everyday.  She is strong, beautiful, smart, giving and many times forgets to take care of herself. 

Live happily,   Mrs. Go To Girl

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Learning to let go

Learning to let go is a hard lesson to learn but oh so important.  So often we get bogged down with a mile long list of “to do’s” and follow that with a busy schedule, a long list of people (friends and family) that crown our minds with their own issues and you have the perfect recipe for anxiety, stress, and an overall sense of doom if you’re not careful.

It happens to the best of us and far too often.  We let our inbox fill up and sit there staring at it not even sure where to start.  This is where “letting go” comes into play.  I have two thoughts to share with you:

  1. My dad always told me that even after you are dead and gone, people will still put things in your “inbox”, the trick is to focus on what is important and don’t worry about all the small stuff.
  2. There is only one way to eat an elephant and that is one bite at a time.  Even when your lists of things to do and places to be pile up…. in the end you can only be one place at a time and do one thing at a time.  Sure there is the novel idea of multi-tasking, but a task done right deserves your full attention.

So where does this leave us?  Yep….  sorting through our mess and figuring out what to let go of.  We can’t do it all and we can’t be everywhere all the time.  You know I love lists and here is your turn to make your own.  There are two lists that you need:

  1. List of priorities in life
  2. Current list of things to do (this is a daily list)

The first list (Priorities) is the most important and will help you keep perspective when making your daily list.  The priorities list is one that stays fairly constant and only changes when major life events happen.  (The birth of a child, a marriage, a divorce, or even a death).  This is a list of who, what and where your personal priorities are.  I will give you an example of my list to kick off your thought process (This is by no means the same list you will have, but you get the idea).

  1. My Sobriety
  2. God
  3. My family
  4. My job
  5. …… this list can go on, but the first four are the most important to me.

The order you make the list is also important.  As you can see from my list, my sobriety is #1 on the list.  I am currently 15 1/2 years sober.  God willing, I will be 16 years sober and counting.  This is a choice I have made in my life and live this choice one day at a time.  It is at the top of the list because without it, I lose sight of my faith, crush and ruin my family and will ultimately lose my job.  #2 on my list is God.  For me a solid faith in a Higher Power comes before my family.  Without my faith in God and the ability to trust in him, I fall to pieces.  Faith can move mountains and my life is proof of that.  #3 is my family.  My husband, my children, my grandchildren, my parents and siblings.  I am blessed with an enormous, loving family.  It is my priority to show up and be present for them.  They are my rock when I waiver in various areas of my life and they keep me grounded.  Finally, my job is on the list.  I work to live, I do not live to work.  I need to place importance on my job in order to provide support to my family and to be an active member of society.

This is just an example of a list (that happens to be mine).  With this list in place, I can build my daily “to do” list.  It is a daily activity because as we all know, life throws us curve-balls all the time.  The order of this list, the contents, and the length of the list changes daily.  It is supposed to.  IF it was always the same, I fear we would lead very boring lives.  Here is an example of my “to do” list:

  1. Exercise – usually done first thing in the morning, but a daily goal for my physical and mental health
  2. Get my grandson ready for school – I have made a commitment to my family to be the best mom / grandma possible and helping this little guy out is very important to me.
  3. Work (Work has it’s own “To Do” list of course, but I try to keep that list confined to the hours spent at the office.)
  4. Spend time with my husband – He and I have completely different schedules when it comes to work and this keeps us missing each other if we aren’t careful.  When I married this man, in my wedding vows I promised to make him a priority in my life.  I keep this promise by making sure he is on my daily list.  Even if it is a simple shared cup of coffee or a walk on the beach holding his hand, that is very special quality time.
  5. ….. this list can go on, but you get he point.

Sometimes there are other task involved.  Do I need to call the doctor and make an appointment?  Do I need to stop by the store on may home and pick up groceries? Do I need to go to a meting in the evening or do I have plans to meet up with a friend?  All of these go on the list and the list is ever changing.

Once my lists are complete, the next thing to do is step back and take a look at the size of my “elephant”.  The only way to get things marked off my list is to put the list in order and then ready set go!  One thing at a time.  One task, one errand, one little tiny goal to be accomplished.

Sometimes life can feels like it is only tiny goals and the milestones are never hit.  When that feeling creeps in and your lists begin to overwhelm you that is when it is time to take a step back.  DO a little inventory of your life over the past month, year, or several years.  See where you have made major progress and take time to celebrate.  The little voices in our heads can so easily get us down on ourselves.  Are you climbing the corporate ladder fast enough? Are you the best mom or dad you can be?  Are you keeping up with bills and chores?  When stepping back to look at life for a brief moment, realize a few things….  your lights are on, your able to keep warm when it’s cold out, you’re able to reach out to your family when you need to, you’re able to eat a good meal or even enjoy a fun time with friends.  This must mean you are doing things right.  Do you have a place to lay your head at night?  You did that (by working, paying bills, and being present in life).  Do you have people who love you?  You did that (by being present in their lives too when they needed you).  I could step back at your life and tell you how wonderful it is, but that isn’t what you need.  You need to give yourself a pat on the back for making the good decisions that got you to the age you are.  A little hug now and then for not giving up. Trust me, giving up may many times seem like the easiest thing to do, but don’t give up before the miracles happen.  You will miss out on the most beautiful thing yet to come.

I will close with this…  When your list is long and life seems overwhelming, break it down.  If the lawn doesn’t get owed today, it will be there tomorrow and maybe then your list will be shorter.  Base your daily list on your priorities list.  For me, it is a gut check on the strength of my sobriety.  It is a moment to pray and thank God for his blessings and ask for his will in my life.  It is a call to my kids and a stolen glance with my husband even on the busiest of days.  These are the top three things on my list.  The rest is just “stuff”.

Written With Love,

Mrs. Go To Girl

 

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Change your mood by adding some color

Did you know colors could affect your moods, feelings and behavior?  There have been many studies done on how exactly colors can affect us and of course, you must take into account your personal culture and experiences.  There is a great article found on www.verywell.com about this very subject where the psychological effects of color are examined.

To keep it simple, think of your own life situations.  Does the color blue make you think of calm and cool things?  Does the color red trigger a sense of urgency or excitement?  Have you heard the saying “Green with Envy”?  Either try adding colors into your décor at home or work to adjust your moods.  This little “life hack” can also be used in the business world for marketing purposes.

How do people respond to different colors? Take a look at the list of colors below and possible effects and reactions:

Black: Used in fashion as a slimming quality and with formal wear.  Is associated with death or mourning.  It is associated with villains and evil characters in films.

White: Many people associate white with purity or innocence.  Bride wear white as do small children for religious ceremonies.  It is also associated with being sterile, clean, and adding space.

Red: Red evokes a lot of emotion.  It is associated with love, power, anger, and intensity.  In fashion, it is usually a bold statement of confidence and self-acceptance.

Blue: In general, blue provides a calm serene feeling.  It can even make you feel a cooler temperature at times when used in décor.  It also represents sadness as an emotion.

Green: Green symbolizes nature and health.  IT also symbolizes luck, money and jealousy.  It is thought to relieve stress, be a sign of fertility and growth.

Yellow: This color is bright, cheery and warm but can be the most exhausting due to its brilliance of color.  Yellow can increase metabolism as it increases your energy level but can also increase your frustration levels.  It is a very attention grabbing color.

Purple: A sign of wealth and royalty due to it being hard to find in natural settings and frequently requiring dyes and a great deal of effort to obtain the color.  This color is often perceived as mysterious and even spiritual.

Brown: Brown is a sign of strength, reliability, security, and safety.  Brown can bring to mind conventional and natural dispositions.

 

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Do you make every penny count?

As you know by know I am a HUGE advocate for paying it forward AND for making every penny count.  Don’t get me wrong, I’m a woman who likes to shop and loves a bargain so I’m always on the hunt.  I wanted to take a minute and chat about reward programs, opportunities to save and opportunities to pay it forward.

In today’s day and age there are a million ways to cut costs and the majority of us could use a leg up in this area.  Here is a list of reward programs that I have found helpful.

  1. Digital Coupons – many grocery stores and pharmacy stores have a reward program or on-line membership (free of charge) and linked to those programs is a digital coupon option.  If you make it a habit of logging onto those sites once a week and digitally “clip” the coupons to your account, you have an opportunity for potential savings you may have missed.  Here is an example.  I frequently shop at Publix and Walgreens for various items.  Once a week I jump on-line and click on as many coupons as the program allows.  I may or may not use them all, but if they are in my account (linked to my phone number) all I have to do at check out is enter in my phone number and any applicable coupons are applied instantly.
  2. Ebates – If you have not signed up yet, you are missing out!  If you do any on-line shopping this is a great program to be a part of.  It costs nothing to join and you are rewarded with cash back when you shop.  There are tons of stores linked to the program and there is even an option for in-store shopping if you choose to link your credit cards.  To date, I have received over $130 back for shopping I was already planning on doing.
  3. Piggy Bank – This is another app.  As you are browsing on line, if you have signed up for the piggy bank on your phone or computer, it will pop up and let you know if coupons are available or cash back is available.

This brings me to paying it forward.  How many times have had loose change rolling around the bottom of our purses or the floor of our cars?  How many times have you found a couple of bucks in the washer or dryer?  These are all signs that we are not as careful with our money as we think.  Sure, we are penny pinchers when it comes to larger purchases or even something that may be $5 vs $1.  But what about all the unused change?  My point here is that the next time someone at the check out counter asks if you want to “round-up” for a charity, say yes.  Think of all the times you have foolishly spent money and here is an opportunity glaring you in the face to share forty cents with someone in need.

Are you an Amazon shopper?  I am for sure!  I am convinced they have everything!  I am proud to say I am now an Amazon Smile shopper.  What’s the difference?  Well if you log into http://www.amazon.com you are shopping at amazon without the opportunity to help the charity of your choice with proceeds from your purchase.  If you shop at http://www.smile.amazon.com you can create a profile and select the charity of your choice to help.  As you shop you will notice various items are  “Eligible for AmazonSmile donation”.  If you choose these items, The AmazonSmile Foundation will donate 0.5% of the purchase price from your eligible AmazonSmile purchases. How great is that?  Same shopping, and you are helping the cause of your choice.

There you have it a little saving and a little donating.  Keeping balance in every aspect of our lives is so very important.  A good level headed perspective is what keeps us all moving in a positive direction.  As I have said before.  It is a great place to be when your feet are firmly planted on the ground and your head is happily in the clouds.

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Chore Charts – They work wonders!

I grew up with two sisters in my mother’s home.  We were all close in age and all very very different.  There were rules to follow of course, but my mom gave us chore charts.  She did this when I was little and again when my sisters and I were teens.  They were very different as they were age appropriate, but looking back they taught us to do our fair share and to take responsibility for ourselves.

As a little girl, my chore chart had the days of the week (I was learning those), and the chores that I was responsible for and capable of doing. (i.e., making my bed, picking up my room, putting my clothes in the dirty laundry hamper, etc.)  My sister and I shared the responsibility of laundry, cleaning our bathroom, dusting and vacuuming as we got older.  The chore chart faded away as the things we did became a habit and generally just expected.

As a teen, the chart came back into effect for dividing up chores and keeping us each accountable as individuals.  We had a calendar hanging in the kitchen with our initials on the days and order.  1, 2, 3, and repeat.  This was our dishes calendar.  If our name fell on the day, then we were responsible for doing dishes that night. (no question or hassle, it was there in black and white). NOTE: If our name fell on a day where we had a pre-planned social activity that kept us away at dinner time, the task of dishes fell to my mom, so she had her fair share of dishes nights too.)

As a young child, there were rewards for accomplishing all of my chores and doing them well.  Gold stars placed on my chart, a prize at the end of the week (this was either being able to stay up 30 minutes past my bedtime, or maybe watching a movie of my choice, or being able to have a friend over).  The consequences for not doing my chores were just as clear (i.e., no TV, no friends coming over, etc.)

These chores taught me to keep my home clean, to respect my property and that of others,  to be responsible for myself.  Don’t get me wrong, I did not have a difficult or challenging childhood, but my parents had rules and they had good reason for them.  Looking back I am so grateful they did.  I am the woman I am today because of them.  Things like washing the towels and sheets on your bed, vacuuming AND dusting, cleaning out your closet occasionally, are all random things we take for granted as an adult but should thank our parents for teaching them to us when we were young.  After all, they taught us to use a spoon, wipe our own tushes, and hopefully to take care of ourselves overall as were grew into successful independent adults.

If you have a little kiddo in your home, I hope you are teaching them to grow into fabulous independent adults.  The joy is equal in succeeding as an individual as it is to watching your child succeed, knowing you did a good job.

SIDE NOTE: I was an argumentative child at times.  I hated to be told no.  I would accept a choice or a reason, but the word “no” sent me through the roof many times.  These chore charts outlined exactly what was expected of me and decreased the arguments over all.  As I grew older I appreciated conversations with reasons and purpose rather than being “told what to do”.  Today as a result, I have a pretty solid foundation and open line of communication between myself and all of my parents.  (As I mentioned before, I have two step-parents that also raised me and I respect them as much as I respect my biological parents.)

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Vacationing – “Gypsy Style”

The best vacations are the unplanned ones.  My husband and I have just returned from a whirl wind trip around Florida where in one week we accomplished the following:

  • A weekend trip to a friends wedding where I participated as a bride’s maid.
  • A visit to my dad’s lake house to pick-up a few things for my dad (pre-surgery for him)
  • A few days in the keys (fishing, kayaking, site seeing, etc.)
  • A celebration of life for my Great Aunt who has passed away (at 95 years of age)
  • A visit to my father’s house (post-surgery)
  • A visit with  my son and some house hunting
  • And home to in-pack and do some laundry.

Now, I will admit, some of these little day or multi-day trips were pre-planned, but for the most part, we just jumped in the car and headed out for a road trip and our vacation worked our beautifully.  Stress free and my husband and I laughed harder and longer than we have in so long.  Along the way we made new friends and connected with old ones.  We made side trips to the Sponge Docks of Tarpon Springs and took a little hike thru the Florida Panther and wildlife preserve down in Alligator Ally (neither of which were even thought of in advance).

If I can offer a few pieces of friendly advice they are the following:

Love often and laugh hard.  Tell jokes!  Sing along to the radio.  And don’t get mad if the other person likes to hum.  That’s right hum.  I have learned that my husband hums when he is happy.  It used to irritate me, now, I listen for it because it lets me know that he is genuinely happy in is heart and then I have done my job.

Hold hands with your best friend just because you can.  I love it when my husband comes up beside me and takes my hand to go for a walk.  There is no reason.  He isn’t “Dragging me somewhere” or “Showing me something”.  He just likes me close to him, and I, he.

Stop and smell the roses, and take a picture too!  Along our trip, we noticed things that had we been in a rush we would have missed.  The Alligators on the shore of the ditch along the road.  The iguana eating lunch in the mangroves as we kayaked in the afternoon.  The beautiful shells along the seashore and the tide changed.  The local food, the music, the smells in the air, all so beautiful if we just slow down and put our electronics away for a moment.

Stop worrying.  We had so many things to see and do during the week.  A wedding, time for each other, a surgery for my dad, extended family worries, and a funeral of sorts.  But as my dad has always told me….  Even when you leave this world, someone will still pile things into your “inbox” and the world will still turn.  Do what needs to get done and don’t sweat the small stuff because after all, it’s all small stuff.

So with that in mind, we enjoyed the heck out of each day and love each friend and family member as we made it to them.  And all the while, we held hands, sang songs and laughed.

May your next vacation be very soon.  Try to take an evening away, a little weekend getaway or even a few days to get back to what is really important and that is each other.  As always, have a happy day.

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Speaking without words – love

Have you ever wondered what the world would be like without the words “I love you” or “I’m sorry”?  Without being able to say “I’ll fix it” or “I’ll make it up to you”?  Have you ever wondered what the world would be like if we all “spoke” without ever saying a word.  No sign language, because after all, those are still words.  But actually not using those phrases or anything similar to those at all?  Here it comes my friends, another challenge!  Valentine’s day is right around the corner. New Year’s has come and gone, and I suspect some of us may have already fallen short on a few resolutions.  So here is my February Challenge for everyone.  Try speaking without words.  You read that right!

I’m asking you to try to learn all of the different languages of love that are out there.  Try “doing” instead of “saying”.  Is it a smile instead of a frown?  Is it a gesture of making the bed or actually hanging up the towel or folding the laundry that catches your partner’s eye and lets them know you heard them?  Is it showing up maybe five minute early to pick up your child so you can see their face light up that you took time out to put them first instead of being the last to pick them up?  (It does make a difference.)  Is it remembering what a favorite meal is for breakfast or adding a note in a lunch box or writing a note in the mirror from the steam of the shower?  The point is to slow down and not make excuses or high five in the hallway this month with the traditional kiss goodnight and “I love you”.  Please try to figure out what makes your friend and family feel special or make them feel like you heard them and DO THOSE THINGS.  I promise, it comes back ten fold in happiness on all levels.

I will give you a hint (and a glimpse into my life).   Even setting up the coffee in the morning for your spouse so they just have to turn on the machine goes a long way.  My husband does this for me and every morning it starts my day with a huge smile because I know in his morning rush, he took a few minutes to think of me when he didn’t have to.  He measures out the cream and sugar and puts the K-cup inside the Keurig so that all I have to do is press the button.  He even puts the spoon inside the cup to remind me to stir.  Every single morning, he manages to melt my heart without saying a word.

I hope this challenge pays off for you and everyone you try it with.  As always my friends, have a happy day!

 

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A Tidy home – a little cheat sheet of suggestions to save time and money

Keeping your home clean can seem like a constant battle, especially for a large family or people with little one’s in their home.  (This is also the case after guests come to visit).  House-keeping is a constant and never-ending chore.  Here are some great tips (life hacks) for keeping up with your home and making the tasks easier or more efficient.

First, you need a few regular items on hand.  I try to get as much as I can from the dollar store and rags can come from the thrift store or even recycled clothes or possibly that one sock the dryer forgot to eat.

1.       Fresh lemons.  They last a while and are a great additive for a cleaning agent. 

2.       Kosher Salt (or table salt of some kind)

3.       Vinegar (White)

4.       Baking Soda

5.       Old socks

6.       Hair Dryer

7.       Olive Oil

8.       Cream of tartar

9.       Dryer sheets

10.   Chalk

11.   Plastic Bags

12.   Lint Rollers (Dollar Store Purchase)

13.   There are countless other items that are handy so feel free to add to this list and personalize it.

Here are some house-keeping life hacks to give a try and see what fits nicely into your schedule allowing for more time and some cost savings:

1.       Vinegar and baking soda = clean oven

2.       Vinegar and water (50/50 mix) and an old sock = clean blinds

3.       Lemons = clean facets and sink handles

4.       Lemons and salt = clean cutting board and clean coffee pot

5.       Cream of Tartar = clean stainless steel appliances

6.       Dryer Sheets – adds a fresh smell to your freezer or refrigerator (change monthly)

7.       Dryer Sheets – clean and protected baseboards

8.       Plastic bag filled with vinegar wrapped around shower heads = clean shower heads

9.       Toothpaste = clean jewelry and clean sneakers

10.   Lint Rollers = clean lamp shades

11.   Hair Dryer and Olive Oil = clean drink rings on a wooden table

12.   Baking Soda = removes oil stains from carpet

I hope this either makes things a bit easier, solves some mystery for you, or just changes up your routing at home to get your house neat and clean.  As always, have a happy day!

 

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Loneliness – the feeling that can happen as you stand in the middle of a crowded room.

Sometimes during this time of year it is easy for the feeling of loneliness to overtake us.  The Holidays have passed, family has all gone back home to their day-to-day lives and on top of all that, the weather is gloomy and cold.  Has this feeling ever crept up on you?  Loneliness in some form, happens to all of us at some point in our lives.  It happens to different degrees and for different reasons, but it happens. There is a big difference between being alone and feeling lonely.  If you are nodding your head as you read this, than I suspect, you’ve experienced both.  I thought it would be a great time to share some ways to combat this awful feeling since my personal goal this year is to keep that holiday cheer and inner happy glow burning bright.  Loneliness is a feeling that can creep up and extinguish that beautiful glow inside of us if we are not standing guard over it and making the most of the days, week, and months as they pass by.  Here are a few tips from myself and a few others out there in internet land.

Be aware of yourself – pay attention to your moods and feelings.  Don’t go too long without a quick gut check.  Are you happy, sad, bored, or restless?  Staying on top of your feelings can help to keep the ugly ones at bay.  When we find ourselves getting a bit down, don’t wait to change our situation, be proactive and jump start your emotions into a happier phase

Write it down – journal, be creative, and be expressive.  Sometimes, there is a good reason for the lonely feeling and we just need to work through it.  Keeping a journal is a great way to work through our emotions and understand them rather than let them mill around and rent space in our head.

Look for like-minded people – If you are feeling alone vs. lonely, it’s time to find people you have things in common with and get active.  Start talking, texting, e-mailing and fill your schedule or time with conversations and activities.

Make your current bonds even stronger – Reach out to your friends and families.  Learn more about them and let them learn about you.  Make a lunch date with an old friend, go for a road trip to visit a cousin, or plan to go shopping or see a movie with a sibling.

Be aware of your health – don’t let the cold weather get to you and don’t let feeling down lead to not eating or sleeping well.  At the first sign of a health change, again, be proactive.  Fight back with a change in your lifestyle.  Start taking walks, work out at home to a you-tube video, plan meals or try new recipes to find enjoyment in eating rather than feeling like food doesn’t taste good.  Eat smaller meals rather than one large one if you aren’t in the mood to eat.

Set goals to get involved, set a schedule, volunteer, and get involved in your community.  Use your resources.  Read the happenings on the bulletin board of a local coffee shop. Take a class at a DIY store or craft store.  Take time to learn a new skill or hobby.

Surround yourself with things that provoke positivity.  (Humorous feeds on social media, comedy on television or movies, Art with positive slogans in it).  I can tell you, I have even gone the distance of writing my self notes and leaving them around the house from time to time.

Just to be clear, I am not a doctor or a psychiatrist or hold any medical degree whatsoever.  I am just a lady who has felt lonely a time too many and wants to share how I manage to get through a few dark days in hopes that you can do the same.  If you are feeling overwhelming sadness or significant loss of interest in life, please seek professional help or reach out to someone.  This is just a blog to offer suggestions and a virtual hug for those who need one.  Sometimes, it’s nice to know that others have been there, and made it through dark days so you can too.  As always, have a happy day. ~ Mrs. Go to Girl

 

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What is a resolution?

Every year so many of us make a list of our New Year Resolutions.  What does this mean and what is the point?  I think I either need a better understanding, a change in perspective or a new list (and oh I love lists!)

First, lets define the word resolution.  According to Google, it is a firm decision to do or not to do something. Ok.  That being said, let’s define the word goal.  Again, according to Google, it is the object of a person’s ambition or effort; an aim or desired result.  Slightly similar, but I like goal better.  A resolution is a firm decision, thus not allowing for a stumble along the way and let’s face it, we all do that.  Maybe this is why not many of us succeed at resolutions.  A Goal is an object, a focus, sort of a light at the end of a tunnel, thus allowing you to fall as many times as you want as long as you keep going.

My point here, is that let’s make New Year GOALS this years.  I challenge you to make a list of things you want to accomplish this year.  Places you want to go, things you want to do, books you want to read, etc.  Make them realistic, budget minded and creative.  Write them down.  Hang your list up somewhere in your home where you will see it on a regular basis.  Mine will be hung in my bathroom.  My husband and I have been talking about making our list for a week or so now and thinking about the things we would like to plan for the new year.  He has a few items as do I that we would personally like to see happen this year and combined I think our list will make for a great 2018.

I hope this ignites a fire in you and your family for a creative and fun start to your year and helps to keeps the spirit of family, sharing and caring in your heart from 2017.  As always, have a happy day.

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The importance of a morning routine

Ever stop to think about your morning routine?  Ever try changing it and feel either totally rejuvenated or completely out of sorts.  Isn’t it funny how one or the other is bound to happen?  I will share with you my morning routine and hope to hear about yours as well.  First let me share with you the back story for this little blog.

I never used to have a morning routine.  Or, maybe my routine was that I didn’t have one at all.  I would set my alarm, hit snooze about five or six times and then after running very late, charge out of bed like a mad-man, rush around then out the door!  It wasn’t very relaxing and not the least bit productive.  I was neither reliable or organized.  Oh how times have changed.  I have come to learn the value of a morning routine.  Looking back at my childhood, I remember my parents and their morning routines.  Each had their own, but each definitely had specific routines.  It is my mother’s that stands out the most to me.  She would get up before my sister and I and make her coffee.  She would sit on the end of the couch in total silence and sip her coffee and just be still.  These days, she still does the same getting up before my step-father and before her dogs awaken to enjoy her peace and quiet.

As an adult, and a wife in my own home, I see the importance of this very routine.  It is the way you start your day and it truly does set the tone for your day.  Looking back on  days that I jump up out of bed and run through my morning, my whole day tends to follows suit.  I feel rushed, unorganized and behind the eight ball all day.  More often than not, my morning routine is as follows:  I still awaken to an alarm and I still tend to hit the snooze button once or twice. My husband and I enjoy a cup of coffee together outside on the back patio as our dog does her morning business in the yard.  Then my dog and I chill out in the hammock and watch the birds flutter around in the trees and we listen to the leaves dance in the breeze for about 20 – 30 minutes.  There is very little conversation between my husband and I in the morning.  Not for lack of points of discussion, but more for true enjoyment of space and time.  It is my favorite time of day.  To be with the one you love and just be still.  It is beautiful.  To watch my dog be happy in the yard and then cuddle with me in the hammock is blissful.  (side note: she is only three pounds)  After our little outdoor time, I wander inside, feed the puppy and then begin getting ready for my day by making the bed, showering and getting dressed as usual with the accompaniment of a great playlist.

My point in sharing this with you is two-fold.

  1. to share with you my beautiful morning routine and reflect on the idea of enjoying a slow start vs a quick jolt to your morning.
  2. to ask you how your morning routine is?  Do you prefer to fill our morning with news and social media?  Do you prefer to exercise?

Think about how you start your morning.  As I asked before, what happens when there is a change in your routine.  When I am running late, my whole day is a mess.  On the flip side, When I am trying like crazy to start a new healthy routine, I am frustrated and rejuvenated all at once.  Like trying to start a new work out regime, or trying to switch up and do my household chores in the morning so I come home to a cleaner house.  I’m happy with the change, but a bit frustrated until I get the swing of things.  (Neither ruins my day, in fact I feel empowered).  There are so many versions of a great start, I hope whatever you do provides you a very happy day!

 

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What quirks make you… you?

Some would say I am a creature of habit and others would say I am a wild unicorn with a gypsy soul, leaving a trail of glitter wherever I go.  Is beauty in the eye of the beholder or is it your the time of day you catch me?  I will admit there are not too many thing I do on an extremely regular basis and I find it incredibly difficult to pick up good habits (bad habits are a completely different blog all together, and thankfully, a different time in  my life).  However, there are a few things I am know to do and my day is a miss when these things are out of sync.  Ever stop and think about the silly little idiosyncrasies of your life and how if you don’t do them regularly you just feel all out of whack?

I will share of few of mine with you in hopes that you can feel a bit more normal. (And I will assume there are readers out there nodding their heads saying, oh yes I do that to, so I too shall feel a little less out of place).  Here we go…

  1. I must make my bed everyday. (Today, by the way, I did not and it’s making me nuts)  I love to have my bed made and when I am running, so late that I don’t make it, I come home at the end of the day and make it anyway.  I truly enjoy climbing into a freshly made bed.  I love having the sheets folded back like my own turn down service.
  2. Speaking of bedtime, I always sleep under the covers and I prefer a comforter to a quilt so if it is super cold, I will just pile blankets on top of my fluffy comforter rather than exchange the comforter for a heavy quilt.  Also, if it is hot, I will turn the AC to super cold just to I can feel nice and cuddly at night.
  3. I drive the same way to an from a destination.  Once I go somewhere once, that is how I know to get there and I cannot deter from those directions or I get lost.  don’t get me wrong, I love to go on driving adventures and do very frequently.  However, as I drive to work, my kids house, my husbands work, etc. I can only go one way or I am completely lost.  Additionally, I get very frustrated at the suggestion of a new way to travel.
  4. Whenever I take a road trip, I must have the proper road trip snacks.  These consist of a Fountain Soda and something sweet (usually skittles) and something salty (usually Pizza pretzel Combos).  And a road trip can be any drive longer than two hours.

These are just a few of my always, no matter what, absolute never changing things I do.  I would love to hear some of yours.  I love my little quirks and I have plenty more that I’m sure I will share along the way.  I hope these made you smile a bit today.  As always, have a happy day.

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