Category: Learn from It

The Power of Positivity

I’m not going to lie… it is not easy to ALWAYS be positive.  Things happen, life happens, and it isn’t always pleasant.  This conversation is not about ALWAYS be positive, it is instead about intending to always be positive and absorbing others positivity when you lack in that area.

“Be thankful for what you have; you’ll end up having more. If you concentrate on what you don’t have, you will never, ever have enough.”
― Oprah Winfrey

Could not have said it better myself!  There is an old saying that I sure we all know, “Stop and Smell the Roses.”  I truly believe these tow quotes go hand in hand.  Do I have a million dollars?  Nope.  Am I able to earn a living and able to work hard to pay my bills? Yes.  And I am grateful.

Gratitude and positivity are the cousins of happiness.  If I am happy and maintaining a positive outlook on life, then I am able to manifest the good in life.  If I am negative and focused on the bad things that are happening or have happened, then I am missing out on what is right in front of me.  I am looking on the rear-view mirror and not through the windshield of life.

There are folks out there whose first instinct is sarcasm or possibly to comment on the negative.  These people, if given the opportunity can affect how we think and feel about situations and activities.  When we were kids and we were so excited about maybe a boy we liked, or a grade we got, or an upcoming activity; if there was a “cool kid” that thought differently, did we let their opinion sway ours?  Did you wear a beautiful new dress to school one day and maybe a girl commented on the fit not being just right and you suddenly felt less beautiful.  Imagine if those same comments were reversed and you were encouraged by those you admired.  Would that change your feelings?  Of Course.  It would hype you up and you would feel even better than you already did.  THIS is the power of positivity and transversely the power of negative thinking.

Now, think of your current life and current situations.  Are you that mean girl always commenting on the negative or possibly thinking you are politely playing devil’s advocate or are you the one hyping up your friends and even strangers, encouraging them to be the best they can.  Are you the one saying, “do better” or are you saying, “I know you can do, keep going”.  Those statement can have the same intent but be felt so differently on the receiving end.

Just one small positive thought in the morning can change your whole day.

Dalai Lama

So, the question is, how do you radiate positivity without feeling like you are walking on eggshells with what you say and do.  Easy!  Confidence, good self-esteem, self-care and compassion.  It’s the recipe for happiness in any and all situations.

Bad things happen, there is no doubt in that.  How we react to them is what matters.  Not the bad thing itself.

“It will never rain roses: when we want to have more roses, we must plant more roses.”
― George Eliot

It will in fact always rain sometime….  It is what we do with that rain.  Here are my thoughts on what to do with the negative:

  1. Share your story, but don’t focus on the bad, focus on your climb upward from that moment.  That is where the positive is.
  2. Seak out “Moments” and embrace them. If it is raining, then be glad you don’t have to water the lawn.  You are saving money and the work to do so. If you are running late to work, let’s be honest… you are already late.  Take a breath and do a little self-talk to be grateful for your job and the ability to do it, then charge on.
  3. Plant the roses: Share a compliment, hold a door, smile at a stranger, say please and thank you for any service rendered to you.  These tiny little actions can plant a rose in someone else’s garden.  This allows you to have more roses everywhere you go, not just keep them to yourself.

Positivity breeds positivity and we don’t share it, it won’t grow.

“Keep your thoughts positive because your thought become YOUR WORDS.
Keep your words positive because your words become YOUR BEHAVIOR
Keep your behavior positive because your behavior becomes YOUR HABITS
Keep your habits positive because your habits become YOUR VALUES
Keep your values positive because your values become YOUR DESTINY”

― Mahatma Gandhi

0

Continuing Education – finding time is easier than you think

This blog is to all of the busy people out there that are entrenched in their day to day and think they have NO TIME left to continue to learn as they grow and age.  Well, you are wrong.  And I say this because I was one of those people for so long until I decided to join the masses and start listening to “Books on tape”.  Yes, I know that the word tape is null and void at this point, but I’m an old lady so hang in there with me and allow me to use “old terms” now and again.

At work, the leadership team was challenged to read a book to begin a new process of leadership and management to allow the company I work for to go to the next level, leaving the plateau we have hit in the dust.  Now, I love to read but reading for work and a business book at that, hard pass.  I just don’t have the time.  Nevertheless, it was a requirement so the time I would find.

I have many friends that listen to books on tape.  As they exercise, walk the dog, etc.  Now as a wife, grandma and mom, these times are usually accompanied with a spouse, kid or grandkid chatting it up about their day or the latest issue in their lives and I am not willing to give up these precious moments.  Reading in my spare time, is an activity I love but to be honest, I like to hold the book, physically turn the pages and do this in my pajamas under a blanket with a cup of coffee.  So how do I read this book and how does this relate to continuing education?

I subscribed to audible.  It’s a program with amazon and of all of the programs I checked out, this is the best and most affordable and allows me to a few options.  With my subscription (which is incredibly reasonably priced), I get monthly credits to download books.  I can add books to my wish list and I can keep them in my library.   Ok, this may all sound very “normal” to the younger generation out there, but this is what I really want to share..

I was picking my grandson up from school one day and my “Book on tape” was playing thru the blue tooth connection in the car.  He says to me, “Grandma what are you listening to?”  I smiled and said this is my homework.  To which he replied, “You don’t have homework, you don’t even go to school!”

Immediately a bell goes off in my head!  What a teaching moment for my little guy!.

“Sweetheart, grandma is listening to this book for work.  I want to keep moving up in my job and keep going further.  To do that, I have to keep learning and growing.  This is a book teaching me about leadership so I can help the others in my company grow as well.”

“Is it boring?” He asks.

I laughed and said, “Well, boring is a mindset.  I am listening to this and as I am, I am thinking about how it applies to what I do and how I interact with people. So, no not so boring.  Now if I was in a mindset of cooking your dinner, then this may be very distracting.  Much like you and your schoolwork.  It is hard to do your schoolwork when your friends are over, or you are watching a tv show.  But if you are focused on what the schoolwork is, then you may find it easier to understand and it may “stick” in your brain better.   So, as I was driving to pick you up, I chose to listen to this recording.  I just left work and that mindset was fresh.”

To my surprise, he asked if he could listen to it on the rest of our trip home.  I obliged.  And yes, he talked thru the whole thing.

My point here is that if you commute, if you take a lunch break, or even if you take shorter breaks during the day, these are all prime opportunities to grow and learn that do not take away from our busy life.  You may even find it refreshing.

Below is a link to get you started and a few book titles I have found interesting.  Enjoy and keep learning!

Books to check out:

  • Traction: Get a Grip on your Business
  • Good to Great
  • The 6-Minute Workday: An Entrepreneur’s Guide to Using the Power of Leverage…

As always, have a happy day! ~Mrs. Go To Girl

 

 

0

A pet to raise your child

If you have a kid, you need a pet.  Now I know that is a statement that seems direct.  Who am I to tell you to get a pet?  Well, let me share with you why I feel so strongly about this.  As a child, we had a cat.  I am not a cat person as an adult, but I do recall fond memories of our cat as a child.  We also had a dog in my teenage years.  On both occasions, the animals were cared for by my parents, but there were times that pet care was a chore assigned to my sister and I.  As an adult, I see why these chores were assigned from time to time, but never my permanent chore. (and I also see why it was not my full time responsibility)

Reason 1: Caring for others

Teaching kids to care for others is a process.  They need to see it, do it and learn what happens when you don’t do it.  That means they need to walk dogs, feed cats and play with them.  As we all know, the consequences of not doing these are accidents on the floor, crying from the pet or even chewing up things we don’t want chewed in an effort to seek attention.  Sounds a lot like a kid right?  The point is; their little minds don’t see us as mommies and daddies doing this for our children.  From the moment they are born, we are wiping butts, feeding crying babies and entertaining them as they grow into little people.  Having a pet takes each of these actions and applies them to an unbiased party.

Reason 2: Sharing

Kids, especially first born or only children need to learn to share.  Even prior to daycare or VPK, there is an opportunity to teach this by moms and dads giving affection to pets.  Doesn’t sound like a big deal, but when first done, you may find your little one crawling into our lap or doing something to turn your attention back to them.  This is natural but dividing your attention between a pet and a child shows them without causing any harm, that you can have affections toward others in addition to loving them.  Please do not misunderstand, I am by no means suggesting you neglect a child or care for a pet instead of a child.  This is simply an example of a lesson a child can learn almost subliminally.

Reason 3: Comfort

Kids need to be able to count on and confide in a buddy.  Aside from their parents or maybe a sibling, a pet is the next immediate resource for small kids.  In many cases, animals adopt a protective bond over small children, often providing comfort and a calmness to little ones.  As a child grows, so will this bond. If you have ever had a childhood pet, I’m sure there was a time or two that you confided in your four-legged best friend.  Shared your deepest secrets or feelings.  By doing that it taught you the meaning of friendship and loyalty. Pets are nothing if not loyal.

Reason 4: Death

As much as I hate to say it, the death of a pet as a result of an illness or old age is often one of the first times children will experience death.  This helps them to learn about the natural expiration date we all have.  It also helps them to learn to value memories.  By experiencing the loss of a family pet it gives you an opportunity to teach your children about the circle of life (in whichever religion you believe).  It gives you an opportunity to show them how to mourn but also how to celebrate the memories.

I am not a parenting expert, nor do I claim to be an expert in anything, but I have lived a solid, experience-filled life and feel as though our experiences (good and bad) can be passed on in a positive light to the next generation.  As your family decides on a pet in the future or maybe you already have a pet, but are now adding a child to the mix, I hope this little blog on the topic of family pets is helpful.

As always – Have a Happy day ~Mrs Go to girl

0

The days following a celebration

Here we are and it is three days past Christmas.  We have spent at least a month gearing up for the holiday celebration.  Buying and wrapping gifts, planning get togethers and meals with friends and loved ones and then the big day is here!  The same happens for a wedding (only slightly delayed taking into consideration the honeymoon).  The days after everything “gets back to normal” can be draining.

As I sit here today, back at work and engaging with co-workers and clients alike, I find myself in a whirlwind of emotion.  The day or two returning from a celebration are filled with recanted conversations of how the holiday or celebration was spent, who attended, what gifts were exchanged, etc.  But then there is day three.    Day three brings back the “normal” and I can’t help but find myself a bit out of sorts.  Almost physically tired from the excitement of the previous days and even month, here I sit in a bit of a fog.

I think day three is the adjustment period.  The time when the excited conversations stop, the day to day work and chores filter into a steady pace and the emotion I find myself feeling is “blah”.  Don’t get me wrong, I am very happy and had a great holiday season, but I am noticing the office is quieter now than the previous days and week.  The moods are a bit more chill but yet still focused.  Though this is not at all a bad day it does beg the question “where did the joy go?”  Where is the merriment?

In life we have good days and bad days, but to make a good or bad day there is usually an event or thing that causes the good and the bad.  I have always said we should appreciate the bad days for without them there would be no good ones. But here we are in a day like today… no good or bad to be had.  Just a day.

In writing this, I think I have decided these “blah” days of no agenda and nothing exciting to do but the normal occurring should also be considered “good days”.  These are the days we allow ourselves to catch our breath from the roller coaster ride of life.  These moments we find ourselves in that may sometimes feel awkward simply because nothing is making the day good or bad, are the worlds way of saying, be still.  There is a twist coming, you should rest and prepare. Prepare for a high or a low, prepare for joy or sadness, but in this moment, be still. Your roller coaster ride of life is gearing up for another adventure.

And with that, I am still.

Have a Happy Day ~ Mrs. Go To Girl

0

Life on a Budget…

Many times in my many years I have had to live by a stricter budget than I would have liked. It took me a while to change my perspective on tightening my belt to make the bills and still live an adventurous life. For so long, it felt similar to a diet. If you are anything like me when it comes to dieting, you adhere to it for about two days, then spend two days being resentful and then you fall off the wagon. Funny how both budgets and diets sound like swear words to me. I’ve lived much of my life on the edge of one of the things that set me off in the wrong direction quickly, is anything restrictive or seeming to feel claustrophobic.

Once I figured out that I was feeling this way, it was time to change my mindset, but how? Here are the facts:

  • There is only so much time in a day
  • There is only so much income coming in

So all of the above considered, how do I turn this struggle into an opportunity for adventure? Well, it does take some creativity, but more so it takes a complete change in your thought process. Now, I share this with you not as an expert, but as a lady who has lived a bit under many circumstances and learned a few things along the way. I have friends that are well off. I have friends that are single moms and work their tails off to provide. I have friends that have done well and then fallen on hard times and friends that have come into money unexpectedly. I have watched and even experienced a bit of these myself, and above all have learned it is an attitude and mindset that lets us all get thru to the finish line.

So, back to the idea of making this into an adventure and even a challenge. A competition with myself if you will. I have a goal in mind and I want to reach it. So that goal needs to be the finish line. I need to work back from there. What items do I need with me at the finish line? Money? Stuff? People? All of these things need to play into my plan to get to the finish line and be winning. For this particular goal, I need to have a bit of extra cash in reserves at the finish line. So, I need to add that to my goal and then work backwards If I were to add stuff or people, then I would need to calculate the costs of those in as well.

Now that I have my finish line marked, I need to add a time frame to it. Without a time frame, is it really a race to the finish and how will we know if we have reached our goal. I will set mine at 30 days. It is aggressive for this particular goal, but I am motivated. That brings me to my next subject; motivation. There has to be a reason for the goal or you will lose your inspiration quickly. (Like the diet analogy and falling off the wagon). The motivator has to be big enough, intense enough, to not fade during the race to the finish line. Mine is a lifestyle change at the end of the 30 days. One I have dreamt of for many years. It is close enough now that I can actually see myself living in this new way. No wavering here.

Ok, we have a goal, set a timeframe, and have determined we have a strong motivator…. now what? Well, this is where the rubber meets the road. I’ve got to take a hard look at the steps I need to take to get there. The long jumps, the hops, and even the baby steps and ensure they are in the correct order to be successful. Since this is a money goal, it has to do with income, bills due and the extras needed to get all the way across the line. This part takes a bit of time. It requires number crunching, applying dates and amounts to each item along the way. This also requires thinking on a micro level. In my case, how much do I anticipate spending on gas, groceries, and any other things that take away from the bottom line. Manicures! I almost forgot. This is not a need, but something I do for myself every two weeks. Yep, into the budget that goes as well.

It does help to take a historic look at your bank account. Have you ever really looked at all the times your so easily swipe that little plastic card. Have you ever added up all the funds spent at starbucks or McDonalds? After I did, I realized it was a lot of fish-filet sandwiches and maybe I should change my eating habits! YIKES! Ok, I digress. The point here is to bring to the surface the reality of your spending. Now take pause here to do a reality check. This historical look at your spending it not meant to get you down in the dumps. It is meant to just bring you into the realization of what your day to day really is. There will be no time here to pause for longer than needed. There is no time here for poor babies or sad faces about reckless spending. This is where you really jump in and roll around in those thoughts for a while, but then dust yourself off and be sure not to lose focus. Afterall we are facing forward not back.
A LITTLE self-analysis is never a bad thing.

Ok, back to the task at hand. I’ve now got my path set…

  • Goal, what my end result needs to be to turn the page to the next chapter
  • Timeframe starting now and taking me all the way to the finish line
  • Motivator, what it is that will keep me inspired to stay focused on the task at hand
  • Budget plan with times / dates of each item to be paid along the way.

It’s go time! Now, lets put the plan into action. For some a daily journal helps. For some, a checklist of things to do each day or week helps. For me, I need a spreadsheet and to check it daily. I have also found a few tricks that will help me. I am one of those people that is quick to shop on line or swipe my little plastic card without thinking. To prevent these things from derailing me from reaching my goal, I need bumpers up. What are bumpers? Well if you have ever taken a child bowling, you are familiar. These are the guards on either side of the lane that help the ball roll down the center rather than falling off into a gutter. In my case, the gutter is on-line shopping and easy swipes of a credit card. So what will my bumpers be?

  1. Use cash. Since I have estimated my grocery and gas spending, simply take those amounts out of the bank and keep them handy. This puts a rule into place of no more swiping that card unless NEEDED.
  2. Delete the auto filled passwords on my on-line accounts. I can write them down and put them into the safe so I don’t forget them (because I will). This puts a little stop in between my shopping and the check out process. This should be enough to give me the opportunity to pause and think about what I am doing.

Now I have all the things in place. By doing the above, I have also found confidence and the feeling that my goal is attainable. But there is one more thing, and probably the most important. It’s is the ability to turn this plan into an adventure. If this goal is attainable but not fun, will I really stick to it? If I am honest, the answer is no. So how do we add a little fun into it? Here are a few of my ideas…

  1. Cash back apps. There are a million out there! I personally use “get upside”, “rakuten”, and “coinout” but there really are so many to choose from.
  2. Memberships! There are so many loyalty programs out there. Making your money work for you can be fun AND rewarding
  3. Piggy banks. Yep, an old fashioned piggy bank. It is rewarding to see the piles of change add up and then there is a little fun for a rainy day. I personally have always had a piggy bank and from time to time have cracked it open for a fun day.
  4. Creative meal planning. There are do many ways to save money with a little creative cooking. Take a look in your pantry and have fun with some recipes that may not be traditional, but they do help to clear out the pantry and freezer and even maybe spark your creative side.

I hope this helps someone else as I know it has helped me to organize my thoughts and really formulate my plan for the next thirty days. If you are out there planning a budget, tightening belts or just having to cut back, I wish you the best of luck. Many times circumstances are not as we would hope, but that doesn’t mean it is a dismal time. It simply provides us an opportunity to turn things around and add a little fun challenge to life.

This may not sound like an adventure in the traditional sense, but with all of the above combined, it will consume your time and energy and you will soon find yourself immersed into the goal of charging forward and even find yourself new ways to cut corners. Maybe even include your friends in the journey, after all, a family style meal is more fun than dining alone. Maybe a potluck meal? Also, shopping together for groceries is certainly more fun than doing it alone. Maybe make it a community effort and all the while focusing on your cost savings to reach your end goal. Also, at the finish line… smash that piggy bank and do something unplanned and fun! Afterall, you deserve it!

0

Facing your past to better your future

OK friends, Our pasts are in our past for a reason, but I hate to break it to you…. sometimes it is very necessary to revisit them. Open the history books and re-read a few chapters to be able to digest it properly in order to charge forward. This is NOT always a bad thing. Hear me out.

This is my belief and you do not have to co-sign it or agree. As my dad always said pinions are like butt-holes (not exactly the word he used, but you get the idea). We all have them and they are worth exactly what you pay for them, which is nothing. So here is mine. Take it, or leave it.

First, imagine a car. There is a LARGE windshield and a MUCH smaller rear view mirror. Both are necessary for driving. I will agree, using the rear view mirror is optional, but it does help in many cases. The windshield is your future. The rear view mirror is your past. You always look forward through the windshield and you occasionally glance into the rear view mirror. YOU are the driver and you are the present. The here and now in your life. (WOW, what a metaphor).

Recently, I explored my past to deal with some issues that were holding me back with moving forward with my marriage and being there for my family. In doing so, I now have a much better relationship with my husband and I feel like I am able to be there for my children and grandchildren where I was previously more withdrawn personally (though they may not have been aware). I had not faced things that had occurred in my younger years. I simply swept them under the rug and kept charging forward with life pushing them and the memories attached to them “under the rug” hoping to pile more (and hopefully better) life memories on top of them. My friends, this does not always work. There are triggers in life that let the ugly memories of the past pop right back up.

As life moved on, Other situations have presented themselves. Other people have come into my life and shall remain nameless. These people also have had to face their pasts. In their situations it was to help those they love move forward in similar situations (not exact) to their own. It was to help them understand they are not alone in their situation and also to help them cope and learn. To stop a cycle, to get them to a better place in life, to love them through a transition, to keep them safe and to comfort them.

The moral of this story is to share with you that our pasts are there to learn from. To not only to help us grow, but also to pass on and to help others maybe not make the same mistakes. Our pasts are not a judgements of who we are. The things that “happen to us” as children are not our fault. Children cannot be held responsible for the decisions adults make, do not beat yourself up for anything that has happened to you as a child, that does NOT make you any less of a person. If anything, it makes you stronger because you have survived. The choices that we make as young adults may very well be our fault, but s*#t happens and life MUST go on.

As parents and grandparents, looking at our pasts and sharing the growth we have and the lessons (not the details) from those experiences allow us to be human and real in the eyes of “Tiny Humans” who may see us as super hero parents. Sometimes, these little people need to see that. They struggle too.

It’s ok to have a past that may not have been so perfect. It’s in the past and it cannot hurt us. The past made us the fabulous, strong, resilient people we are today. The past has taught us to survive, taught us to prevail, taught us to fight, to stand up if we have fallen, dust ourselves up and charge forward again.

It is important to remember, the rear view mirror is small for a reason. It is NOT meant to be stared into. It is meant only for a glance. The wind shield is large for a reason as well. It is meant to remind us to see far far into the future. On a country road, you can see for miles. You are only limited to what you set your own limits to.

1

Powered by WordPress.com.

Up ↑

%d