Losing your place in line

Do you ever feel just a little bit lost?  Like you know you belong but you still feel out of place?  Like you’ve been standing in line for a long time and for some reason lost your place and now you are standing outside of a crown looking in?  This has been me lately.  I’ve always shared pretty candid blogs and mostly very upbeat, but today, I’m tired.  I feel like I’ve been trying to keep up for a long time and I’m simply running on a hamster wheel.  Like I have a voice that cannot be heard for some reason and now it feels like I’m drowning.

LOL, Wow, that is a lot of metaphors.  Please don’t misunderstand, my life is wonderful and I’m generally very happy but from time to time I think we all get just a little stuck.  We start to feel maybe a little numb inside where we are sure there should be joy and happiness.  My question to you is what do you do to get out of it?  As I was waking up this morning and to be honest, fighting back tears and the desire to stay in bed under the covers, I watched my husband as he opened the blinds this morning.  This may not sound like a lot, but it truly made my heart smile at the perfect moment.   He isn’t usually the one to open the blinds and let the sunshine in.  He sleeps during the day and works at night.  But this morning, I know he did it to make me smile and feel better.  I am pretty sure I fell in love with him all over again just for that one little act of kindness.

As I watched him, I realized that it is up to me to participate in life.  He open the blinds and it was like a hand up in the right direction.  Now it is time for me to do something to get off the pity-pot.  And to be honest, I’m not even sure what has made me sad.

I may be blue and feeling a little lost lately, but as I got ready for work and drove, I realized how lucky I am to have someone who can see me.  Really see me.  Just when I feel invisible and a bit run-over, he opens the blinds just because I love the sunshine and he knows that.  He sat with me on the back porch and talked about little silly things with me and he hugged me.  It’s times like those that make me realize, I’m not lost… just a little down and there is always a way back.  The people in our lives matter.  Family and friends (no matter how many or how few) matter.  I thought about people n my past.  Relationships, friends, and others who aren’t here anymore or for some reason our lives have gone in different directions.  I am grateful for exactly how things worked out.  My dad used to tell me the most beautiful roses grow through sh*t and come out better than ever.  I think of that often and it reminds me to be so grateful for the path I have walked and reminds me to be very happy with the shoes on my feet rather than want to be in someone else’s.  My path made me the quirky, weird, slightly off woman I am today.  Any other path would have not made me… me.

I know it sounds cliché, but so many times a hug really does fix so much.  A smile, a laugh, or just a text to say hello can mean someone is thinking of you when you feel like the world is passing you by faster than you can keep up with.  I am a pretty spiritual woman and I believe in God.  At my darkest moments, I’m sure I was not alone then either.  I am sure that the people who are gone are meant to be and the people who are right here, are here for a reason.  It is up to us to embrace the little tiny moments and take the hand-up.  If we don’t, than it is our fault we remain on the pity-pot and we will end up sitting there alone.  So if you are there as I am (and have been), it’s time to take whatever smile is tossed your way and grab hold of that joy.

So today, have a happy day.  Realize that even if you are feeling a little blue or down, your smile can change someone’s day and theirs can change yours.  Today, I will smile at a stranger and hope they know “I see them, and they are important”.